


Time

by Castel



Category: Original Work
Genre: Other, but needed to share this, kinda private, maybe someone gets the same feeling as i
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 12:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11828655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castel/pseuds/Castel





	Time

 

 

Time.

 

 

They hated that word.

They hated the existence of that word.

 

 

« With time [...] » ; « Be patient »

 

 

What's even time. They never understood the concept of it. And yet its definition is written in the dictionary ;

 

Time : A nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future.

 

They hated that concept.

 

Because whenever they fell, it felt like Time stopped and they were trapped in a loop of these events that would leave them deeper in despair.

 

« Wait », they were told. « You'll feel better with time. Time will heal your wounds.»

 

They didn't want to wait. They wanted to heal right away. Flee the torments as soon as they come. Still, they obliged and waited for Time to arrive. It felt like an eternity.

 

« How long will I wait for the pain to disappear ? » they asked themselves. Days, months, years after, they still cry from the same wounds that never healed. « Why doesn't Time heal my wounds ? Did Time forget about me ? »

 

And as patience grew thin...

 

« Why did all this happen ? » was the question they asked themselves endlessly everytime they looked at their injuries.

 

Years passed and nothing changed. As least for them. Stuck in the past, the clock stopped ticking for the young one as they watched others moving on, growing, living. People they've known had now kids, a family.

 

 

A future.

 

 

The child that was no longer a child but a shadow of themselves, wondered.

 

« Why can't I do the same ? »

 

They wanted all this. A future. So they tried forcing these hands to move, but as soon as they took a step once they thought Time released them, it grabbed them and its heavy form made them collapse again. They tried a few times, yet each time, the weight was worse to bear.

So they remained on their knees and watched again from their spot... And from incomprehension and sorrow, frustration, anger rose within them.

 

« Why can't I do the same ? »

 

That powerlessness, it made them feel worthless. At this realization, the creature whimpered.

 

 

« I wanna go back. »

 

 

Going back, to change their past. Make things right. Be worthy of love and respect, so they can move on and live. They wanted to live so badly. They wanted to love so badly. They wanted to be a human being. Like everybody else.

 

But in the same time... Fear that grew stronger with this powerful enemy of theirs, held them in place. Making them wonder if they'd be able to survive another wound.

 

Until one day... They managed to play Time and Fear. They managed to find a reason to get up and run as fast as they could while holding tight onto their motive to fight. Learn everything that they couldn't in the past since they've been stuck in this prison of glass, all alone and scared. But with this new determination, they could get a grasp of what living meant-

 

« You're too slow. » they were told. « I'm sick of waiting. »

 

The wounds they thought that they could heal by themselves reopened with this new blow. They stopped running to crash on the ground when their motive slipped through their fingers.

 

They were too slow. For everybody. And god did they try their best to catch up. They tried their best and yet... It was never enough. They became their own enemy in the same time their view on the world kept distorting. As hatred started to consume them. As rage started replacing the need for love.

 

« It's their fault. »

 

The ones who abused them, who destroyed them, played with them like a toy and left behind once it was broken. It was all their fault if they were stuck here, in the past, the haunting memories while these monsters would wander free. And while they cried at their deepened wounds and knees scratched from the fall, Time grabbed them once again.

 

Despite all their efforts and sacrifices, they failed.

 

All that they aspired to be, their hopes and dreams... Vanished with Time.

 

Because nobody wanted to wait for them. Too slow. Too damaged.

 

They were never trully living, but they weren't dead either. They were lost in between and the pain that it inflicted them was eating all the rest that made them a person.

They weren't human anymore. Just a breathing mass of toxic emotions that was dragging everyone else away.

 

All of this because of the monsters from their past that were always coming back stronger. Seeing how they became one too, the last remains of the gentle creature they used to be whimpered.

 

« I wanna go back. »

 

But they couldn't. For they were nothing but a little human, lost far somewhere in this universe in which only Time had the control of. For Time was irreversible. For Time was impalpable therefore, impossible to fight or have control on It. And yet, here It was, crushing them with all Its might.

 

« Why am I punished for the wrong the others did to me ? »

 

« Why am I punished when I try to make things right ? »

 

They hated Time. They were told to wait for It to come and heal them, and all It did from the start was grabbing them and pin them down onto the ground to force them and watch the future they'll never have.

 

« Why won't you let me be happy ? »

 

How merciless.

 

Laying there in the pool of blood and tears, motionless, they finally let go of their last spark of determination. That spark that reminded them who they were before, who they tried to protect to be given a chance for happiness.

 

 

What's even time, if it never comes. What's even time, if it takes everything away.

 

 

If we're in a timeline... We're supposed to move inside of it, right ? We're supposed to exist, that's the point of this concept, isn't it ?

 

 

If that's the case...

 

 

 

Maybe they weren't supposed to exist.

 

 


End file.
